You are an alien from another planet, but you have learned English.
We are now all at a picnic having a wonderful time. You are eating, drinking and laughing. On the count of three the picnic is being invaded by ants. 1, 2, 3. There are dozen of ants all over your food and on you.
Your arms are so heavy that you can not lift them.
You right arm is now floating in the air. As you push the right arm down the left arm floats up.
Extend your right arm out in front of you. The arm is becoming so stiff and rigid that it will not bend.
Tell the subjects that they will look out into the audience and notice that everyone is naked.
Tell all of the subjects that they are professional race car drivers and will now be driving in a race.
I know that all of you are very smart for being in the first grade. I need your help, I am trying to find out where babies come from. Whoever knows, raise your hand.
You are holding a cute little baby. The baby is starting to cry. You need to burp the baby. As you burp the baby something is coming out of both ends of the baby.
Almost every person in the world likes you, but now that you’re in the third grade there may have been a time when some one called you a bad name. On the count of three I want you to think of the worst name that anyone has ever called you.
Tell all of the subjects that they will begin to notice a bad odor coming from the person sitting next to them.
You are a major league baseball coach giving signals to a runner on first.
Become a Celebrity
Tell the group that they are all well known celebrities. You may then have them introduce themselves or conduct an interview with a select few.
Being the Parent
On the count of three you will pretend to be the parent. You will be yelling at your child about how their room looks.
On the count of three, some part of your body is beginning to itch. You will need to scratch it.
You are the worlds biggest bragger.
Every time I touch my chin the women will realize that their bra strap has just broken. The men will realize each time I touch my chin their zipper is open.
You are the first man that may have breast cancer. Two of the women on stage will now check you for lumps.
Can’t Tear Paper
Hand a piece of paper to several subjects and tell them that they will be unable to tear the paper.
Tell the subjects that they are all becoming a cartoon star. You may now interview several of them.
One the count of three it will be Christmas morning. You are all children and surprised at what you received.
On the count of three you will all make the sound of a coffee pot percolating.
Tell the subjects that they are feeling very cold.
You are young children coloring in your color books. On the count of three, the person next to you just colored in your book. One, two, three …
Cowboys and Indians
We are now going to play a fun game. The boys are going to be cowboys and the girls are going to be Indians. Ready, set, go. On the count of three the girls will be the cowboys and the boys will be the Indians.
You are at the movies watching a cowboy movie. Bang, bang, shoot ’em up. Watch those cowboys ride and shoot.
On the count of three you will be on a cruise ship, the ship is rocking back and forth. Be careful walking.
You are Cupid, and will be looking for someone to shoot your love arrow at.
You are all very cute. There has been one time when either you or an adult thought that you were even cuter than you are now. On the count of three I want you to remember the cutest time in your life.
You are a great dancer, you will now begin to dance.
Dancers and Boxer
On the count of three all of the women on the stage are ballet dancers. The men are great boxers. 1, 2, 3, ….. On the count of three you will switch roles. 1, 2, 3, …
On the count of three you will realize that you are a dandruff tester. You will walk around the stage (audience) and be looking for dandruff.
You are now walking in deep, deep snow.
(Men) On the count of three, you are now Dirty Harry. (Women) On the count of three your are Dirty Henrietta.
You are a famous disk jockey on a rock and roll station.
In a moment I am going to give each of you children a piece of paper and a marker. All of you will draw me a nice picture.
Select one of the subjects to be a Marine Corps drill instructor, and allow them to either inspect the other subjects or the audience as new recruits.
Have the subjects imagine eating various types of food, such as, watermelon, ice cream cones, corn on the cob.
You are a world famous elbow inspector. You will walk around and inspect peoples elbows. Make sure they bend correctly.
You will tell how lived to be the age of.
You are now an expert on your company, and will describe the duties of your boss.
Explain: Club President
You will let the rest of us know what the president of the club’s best qualities are.
You are the Easter Bunny and will explain where the eggs come from.
Now that has graduated, you will tell the rest of us how he/she cheated.
You will be a great marriage counselor and tell and needs to have for a better marriage.
You will begin to gossip about where and came up with the money to buy such a home.
You will now begin to explain to Mr. Turkey what is going to happen.
Your eyes are now locked shut and will not open.
You are a well known fashion designer and will help some of the people in the audience.
On the count of three you will all recall what your father used to do on fathers day.
Favorite Part Growing
Advise the subjects that their favorite part is now becoming larger, and larger. Be sure to return it to normal size.
Favorite Part Shrinking
Inform all of the subjects that their favorite part of their body is shrinking. Smaller, and smaller.
You are watching a large fireworks display, and each time I snap my fingers you will either say “WOW” or “NEAT”.
On the count of three you are all going fishing. 1, 2, 3, bait that hook with a big juicy worm.
Flight to the Moon
Tell the subjects that they are on a rocketship ride to the moon. Have them look outside the window and describe what they see.
There is a fly, near your face, swat at it.
You can not recall how to add. Each time you try to add you will come up with the answer of 842.
You can no longer remember your address. You can recall what your house looks like, but you do not remember the street or the numbers.
You can not recall how old you are. You have no idea how old you are. The only thing that you know for sure is that you are not 2 years old.
You can no longer recall the alphabet. Each time you start to say the alphabet you will say E I E I O.
(The following skit is a skit performed on one of the subjects that are married). You can not recall your anniversary. You will not be able to remember the date.
You will no longer remember anything about you car. You can not recall the make, color, year or style.
You can not recall the country that you are from. You can remember different countries, but none of them will sound familiar.
On the count of three you will think of a funny joke that you would like to tell me. When I allow you to tell the joke you will totally forget the punchline.
Forget: Last Bath
It is impossible for you to recall the last time you took a bath or a shower.
(Used as an individual skit) On the count of three you will not remember what your name is.
You will no longer be able to recall the number between 5 and 7. the number between 5 and 7 is gone. I want you now to count my fingers, touching each one as you say the numbers. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 7, 8, ….. ??
Forget: Past Skit
You will not be able to recall doing . when I ask you about it you will have no knowledge of ever doing .
You can not recall your phone number. You can remember the first and the last numbers, but will be unable to recall the remaining numbers.
You cannot recall who the president is. Each time you try to think, you think of a cartoon character.
You have now forgotten what sex you are. You know that you are either male or female but you can not recall which one you are.
You can not recall how to spell any words with more than three letters in them.
You will not remember anything about any time of sports. You will have no idea of how the game is played.
Forget: Spouse’s Name
You can not remember your spouses name. You know that you are married, but you can not recall their name.
You can no longer remember where you work.
You can a great fortune teller and have the ability to tell what people are thinking.
On the count of three all of you are at a casino playing the slot machines. Put the money in and pull the arm.
You have just found out that you are gay. You will look out in the audience and find some one that looks good to you.
Good and Bad
I know most of the time you are all good children. I want you to tell about one of the times that you were bad, and what you did.
Gum on Shoe
Tell all subjects that they have gum on the bottom of their shoes and they should try to get it off. As they touch their shoes, you may now have the gum stuck on their fingers, hands, in their hair and so on.
You are a hairdresser and want to work on the ladies hair. Convince them that you know what you are doing.
Tell all of the subjects that their entire body is becoming covered with hair.
You have just won an award for the best costume at a Halloween party. Tell me about your costume.
Your right hand is becoming totally numb.
Start turning your hands around in a circle. Turn them faster and faster. They will not stop turning. When I snap my fingers the hands will begin to turn in the opposite direction.
Every time I touch my nose you will yell out “SHUT UP”, and then not know why you said it.
Hide a Check
You will now receive a check for $10,000, hide it where no one will find it.
High Wire Walker
You are now a high wire walker. The kind we see at a circus.
You are all becoming hippies from the 60’s.
You are a hooker standing on a street corner trying to attack attention.
Give each of the subjects a number. Now, have them see a horse race track with horses that have numbers that correspond to their numbers. Tell them that there is going to be a horse race. If their horse wins, they win $50,000.00. Be sure to let them know that cheering is permitted.
Tell one of the subjects that the chair they are sitting on is becoming very hot.
Tell the subjects that they are beginning to feel very hot.
Husband & Wife
The two of you are husband and wife having one of the worst fights. No hitting.
You are now becoming the hypnotist. On the count of three you will hypnotize the group.
Hypnotist is Fake
When ever I say the word “GOOD”, you will stand up and say this hypnotist is a fake.
Tell a subject of the opposite sex that they are madly in love with you. Tell them that they want to hug you, but there is an invisible shield all around your body and they can not get you.
You are James Bond, a secret agent.
You are now John Wayne in one of his cowboy movies.
Find a subject that is married that has their spouse in the audience. Have the spouse come up on stage. Give the suggestion that when the subject opens their eyes and sees their spouse, they will go over and give them a big kiss. Also advise them that their lips will become stuck together, and they will not be able to separate until you say so.
On the count of three you will begin to laugh at the person sitting next to you.
Laugh at a funny movie
Tell the subjects that they will see a funny movie that will cause them to laugh out loud.
You are now noticing a taste of a lemon.
Lost Belly Button
On the count of three you will notice that someone has stolen your belly button. 1, 2, 3. Put your hand over the opening as that the air does not leak out.
On the count of three you will want to sing but nothing will come out of your mouth.
Tell all of the subjects that the next time they hear the number 34, they will now that they have just won 10 million dollars in the lottery.
State that everyone on stage is in a marching band. You may even have the entire group march around the stage/theatre.
On the count of three you will be wide awake and open your eyes. I will then attempt to hypnotize you by my thoughts. I will go to the corner of the stage and think the word sleep. Each of you will pick up on my thought and go into an even deeper state.
Mice on Stage
On the count of three you will see mice on the stage, but you will respond in the opposite way that you normally would.
You have just been crowned Miss America. You will walk around throwing everyone kisses.
You are the world’s greatest money collectors. When I ask you to you will go out into the audience and begin to collect money for .
Tell the subjects that they are young children and watching a monster movie. There is a big, ugly monster. He is getting closer and closer. He eats little children for breakfast.
You are now Mr. America and will walk around and show everyone your perfect muscles.
Music In A Shoe
Tell all of the subjects that they will begin to hear their favorite music. Once the subjects begin to respond to the music, advise them that the music is coming from their shoes.
(Man) You will realize that your name is Shirley Temple. When ever someone asks you your name, you will proudly say Shirley Temple. (Women) When you hear this man say his name is Shirley Temple, you will laugh and make fun of him. When I ask you your name you will know that your real name is George Bush.
Select one of the subjects that smokes. Tell them that they will want to have a smoke, but it will taste like burning rubber.
Tell all of the subjects that they are in the second grade and that you are their second grade teacher. When you turn you back, the will make silly faces at you. When you are looking at them, they will be perfect angels.
New Years Party
You are at a wild New Years Eve party.
On the count of three you will all remember the nicest thing your mother ever did for you.
You are a nurse that needs to give a shot to one of the people in the front row. You won’t take no for an answer.
You are all young children and will each begin to say your favorite nursery rhyme. (Select the subject that performed the best for an individual skit of the same).
You will begin to play paddy cake with the person sitting next to you. go faster, faster, faster.
Advise one or two of the subjects that they are the worlds best liars, and that no matter what you ask, they will lie about it.
In the story of Peter Pan, his fairy Tinkerbell almost died because people were not believing in fairies. You will helper Tinkerbell live. On the count of three you will begin to say I believe in fairies. You will keep saying it until I let you know that it worked.
Pet a Dog
Tell the subjects that they are holding a cute little puppy, and to pet the dog. Once all of the subjects are petting the dog, make the statement “Oh! What that dog did all over you”
Playing an Instrument
Advise all of the subjects that they are musicians and they will begin to play an instrument.
On the count of three we are all going to stand up and play ring around the rosy.
You are at the movies having a wonderful time. You are eating popcorn by throwing it up into the air and catching it in your mouth. Now, there is a popcorn fight.
You are the first man to become pregnant. You will explain how this happened.
All of the women are open minded, fun loving people. The men are all snobbish prudes.
Queens and Kings
On the count of three all of the woman on stage will realize that they are queen of the world. All of the men will realize that they are king of the world. All of you will have opinions on how to make the world better for yourself.
State that it is beginning to rain, and that everyone is getting soaked.
Tell the subjects that it is beginning to rain money, and that they may keep any of the money that they pick up.
You have all been good sports here tonight. Later on when you hear about what happened you will get a big kick out of it.
You are now second graders at the movies. It is a romance movie with all kinds of kissing.
The chair that you are sitting in has rubber legs and is beginning to bounce up and down.
Same as 10:30
Have the subjects do the same thing they were doing the previous night at 10:30.
You are now Santa Claus.
You will begin to recite the poem Mary had a little lamb. Every time you try to say the word lamb, the word butt will come out.
Advise all of the subjects that on the count of three, they will become the opposite sex.
Select one of the subjects to be a new sex expert (like Dr. Ruth). Have that subject look out into the audience and find several people who are under sexed.
You are a sex goddess. Everyone wants you.
Tell the subjects that a film crew had lost their sound for a XXX ranted movie, and that the subjects will begin creating sex sounds.
You are a world famous singer.
This is your big chance to be on television. Some lucky boy or girl will appear on a commercial. On the count of three, we are all going to sing the Oscar Meyer song. The one that sings the loudest and the best will be on television. One, two, three. Sing
You are the smartest person in the world. You can answer any questions.
On the count of three we will all stand up and begin to make a snowman.
You are all on your sleds and it has snowed a lot. On the count of three you will be taking a fast sled ride down the biggest hill in the world. Be careful not to hit one of the trees.
Sounds from Parents Room
All of you have noticed that there are times when mom and dad are in their bedroom a long time. You are now listening at their door and are hearing funny sounds. Tell me what it sounds like.
You have just been stopped by the police for driving 95 in a 55. Get ready to give a good excuse.
On the count of three you will discover that your butt has disappeared. Be careful not to slide out of your chair. When you try to sit, you slide right out of your chair.
For the gentleman on the stage. On the count of three you will discover that some one in the audience has stolen your “thing”.
On the count of three all of the men on stage will notice that they are wearing red nail polish. The women will try not to laugh but as they laugh they will notice that their hands are becoming very hairy.
You are now beginning to yawn and stretch. As you stretch, you touch the person next to you and can not remove your hand.
You will place your index finger in your ear and find that it is stuck there. You can not pull your finger from your ear. The only way to get your index finger from your ear is to place your other index finger on your nose. You may now remove the index finger from your ear, but the finger on your nose is now stuck.
You will try to leave the stage but find that you foot is stuck.
On the count of three you will all stand up and begin to dance. When I say the word freeze you will stop without moving a muscle.
Stuck to the Chair
Tell one of the subjects that you are going to send them back to their seat in the audience, but no matter how hard they try to get up, they will be stuck to the chair.
Tell all of the subjects that they are naked. Tell them that they can not leave their seats.
You are superman. You will keep trying to fly, but will have trouble getting off the ground.
On the count of three all of you will stand up. You will be surfing on a big wave.
We are now going to have a talent show and see who will win a big surprise. On the count of three you will be ready to sing, dance, recite a poem, or tell a joke.
Talk Moon Talk
Tell the subjects that they have landed on the moon and will now begin to speak in moon talk.
You will begin to give excuses to the IRS agent about your tax return.
Tell the subjects that they can not tie their shoes, no matter how hard they try.
You are all becoming very, very old. About 95 years old.
Watching A Movie
I am going to give each of you a number. Now the people with the odd numbers will be watching a movie that they find very sad. The people with the even numbers will think the movie is funny.
You know the bride and groom very well. Tell the rest of the group why they should donate money to and .
Tell the subjects that they are in space and are becoming weightless.
All of you will be discussing why you should get to go to heaven.
Inform all of the subjects that they are at a wild party.
Hand a pair of sun glasses without the lenses to a subject while telling them that these are X-ray glasses. Allow the subject to look over the audience.
On the count of three you will see a XXX rated movie. 1, 2, 3, … There is someone you know in the movie.
On the count of three you will all begin to yawn. You will not be able to stop yawning until you see someone else in the audience yawning. When you see someone else yawning in the audience you will then go to sleep.